I know of a man who was involved in a church that explicitly taught that church authority can override and intrude into family authority. He had a hard time maintaining a job, as he tended to be personally undisciplined. As the elders learned of his situation and confronted him, and he in turn asked for their counsel and help, they later became impatient with his inability to perform at the level of the average man. Meanwhile, his wife was being counseled and advised on the side about her husband sinning, for he was not providing for her. The counsel drove a wedge between her and her husband, and she soon separated, under their counsel, as he was not "consenting to be a husband", according to their take on I Cor. 7; and she waited for him to repent before she would return. The marriage dissolved and 3 children were left without a father. The principle guiding the elders was that church famly is prioritized above personal family, and that the elders are permitted to tread into those circles of authority of a husband and weild their own authority and counsel within the family, without regard for the husband's position. He later became so embittered over the divorce that ensued and the absence of his children, that he abandoned the faith for many years. I think he has since untangled some of the knots.

I know of another man who left that same church, due to their legalistic teachings. His wife asked if she could remain for a short period of time, so as to follow through with her commitments she still had there. As the church views leaving their body as near sinful, and as they viewed the husband as rebellious towards their doctrine and authority, they began to counsel his wife secretly, apart from the husband's knowledge, regarding his actions, and of how he is leading her and their children down the wrong path by viewing their teachings as heretical and by leaving the church. A wedge began to be placed between the couple, as the wife began to partly believe their words. She has since left the church, after she saw how they avoided speaking to her husband in public, and even began publically ignoring her whenever she was with him, after they knew that she began attending the new church with her husband more frequently.

I often wondered if that church wasn't a little cultish, for they shunned nearly all other churches, keeping exclusively to themselves, and seemed to have this obsession with authority.?

__________________
Charles Plauger
Member/Grace Reformed Church
Oakland, MD