Good grief, that sounds almost like the church I just came out of. All the "pastor" preached was "obey, obey, obey"....him. He even said that we weren't to criticize the leadership even when it was in the wrong. It got so that I hated to even hear the word "obedience". I was so messed up in my understanding of biblical obedience that it has taken months to begin understanding it in its proper context and that is a work in progress.

Books about abusive churches might be of help in understanding this sort of problem.