The old problem of "All doesn't mean ALL."
The Bible says in 1 Timothy 2:4, "God our Savior wants all men to be saved and come to a knowledge of the truth."
It also states that God wants all men to be saved in 2 Peter 3:9, Matthew 23:37 and in Ezekiel 33:11 and 18:30. Obviously not all men are saved. How does Calvinism explain this? Does the God of Calvinism have two wills that are in direct contradiction and hence have a multiple personality disorder?
Particularly concerning 2 Peter 3:9:
It is very clear that Peter is talking to the believers. It follows, then, that in verse 9 when it says the Lord is patient toward you, not wishing for any to perish, he again is speaking of the believers. God's patience is here told to be toward the believers, not the unbelievers. God does not want any of them (the believers, the elect) to perish. And they won't, because God's wishes are not thwarted. But again if "any" is every individual then we again have the problem of God's desires being thwarted.
Source:
All Men Saved
A very Good Resource is the DVD
Amazing Grace: The History & Theology of Calvinism (DVD) :: DVDs :: Multimedia :: Monergism Books
Much mention is made of the word "ALL" by a number of the authors in that DVD. It is explained very well. I would tell your friend if he thinks he is indeed a "Calvinist" he should consider purchasing the DVD to see how his views line up with those who really are "True Calvinist."