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Originally Posted by ReformationArt  Some very dangerous and poor advice is being given in this thread. Husbands are joined together in covenant with their wife so that the two become one flesh, which is a picture of Christ and the church. Pornography is adultery.
Matthew 5:27-28 "You have heard that it was said, 'You shall not commit adultery.' But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
Sexual sin of one spouse is the business of the other spouse. Sexual sin of one spouse is sin against God and a violation of the covenant bond between husband and wife.
To advise a Christian who has sinned against someone to not confess their sin and seek forgiveness from those they have sinned against contradicts Scripture.
Advising men to not confess their sin to women based upon gender is shameful. That is much like parents I've met who refuse to apologize to their children and seek their forgiveness for sinning against them.
Now it is normally the case that a couple struggling with these sins needs to seek outside counsel and help, normally from their pastor or a member of the session. However, they must work through the sin together to have true reconciliation for the glory of Christ, who has reconciled us to the Father through his active and passive obedience (Romans 5:11). It is because of Christ's work, we can and must do the hard work of waging war against sin, seeking forgiveness for those whom we sin against, and seeking to forgive those who sin against us. It is difficult, and often messy, and sometimes one or both parties isn't willing. However, as Christians we have no other option! |
I disagree and have seen your position become ruinous to relationships. I have heard of divorce being sought after because of pornography being compared to physical adultery. While I know this is adultery it is not as serious as the act of physical adultery between two persons. Divorce is permitted in that case I believe. But divorce is not permissible for just lusting after another person. Yes, I believe in levels of sin.
I am not condoning an unrepentant attitude. Nor am I condoning something on the level of a sinful parent who violates a child and doesn't repent and apologize. That is apples and oranges. A man should confide in his Elders and close brothers first and then if his wife is considered mature enough to handle the situation she should be involved.
We just might have to disagree on this one.