I did a little reading tonight on this subject to see what others have said. Oliver Heywood in
Family Altar allows that women may pray aloud in family worship provided that they wear a veil over their face. He concludes: "But I am not positive herein, and leave it to the consideration of others" (p. 405).
Kerry Ptacek, in his book
Family Worship: Biblical Basis, Historical Reality, Current Need, published by Southern Presbyterian Press (GPTS), provides a number of Biblical and historical references to show that it is primarily the duty of heads of households to lead the family in prayer as it flows from the headship principle. As God deals covenantally with families, so heads of households stand before God on behalf of their families. He cites Joshua 24.15, among the other examples of the patriarchs. He also draws a parallel between the governors of the church and governors of familes: "Speaking in the assembly is an exercise of the headship of the husband. Since he rules in his household, he also speaks for it, including his wife" (p. 32).
Later on he cites Daniel Cawdrey, Westminster divine and author of
Family Reformation Promoted (1656): "For example, Cawdrey argued that the Christian 'chief householder' acts 'in Christ's stead to his family' and exercise the offices of prophet, priest, and king in his instruction, prayer and rule in the family (Cawdrey, pp. 58-9)" (p. 48).
Speaking of the
Directory of Family Worship, he says: "It bears emphasizing that the
Directory clearly views the male head of the household as the person in charge of all aspects of family worship." (p. 49). The
Directory itself says in Sect. IV: "The head of the family, who is to lead in this service, ought to be careful that all members of his household duly attend..."
Ptacek (p. 52) then goes on to cite Richard Baxter's comments in
A Christian Directory:
Quote:
It is the will of God that the rulers of families should teach those that are under them the doctrine of salvation, ie., the doctrine of God concerning salvation, and the terms on which it is to be had, and the means to be used for attaining it, and all duties requisite on our parts thereunto. (p. 414)
Direct. V. The husband is to excel the wife in knowledge, and be her teacher in the matters that belong to salvation. He must instruct her in the word of God, and direct her in particular duties, and help her to subdue her own corruptions, and labor to confirm her against temptations; if she doubt of any thing that he can resolve her in, she is to ask his resolution, and he to open to her at home the things which she understood not in the congregation, 1 Cor. xiv. 35. But if the husband be indeed an ignorant sot, or have made himself unable to instruct his wife, she is not bound to ask him in vain, to teach her that which he understands not himself. Those husbands that despise the word of God, and live in willful ignorance, do not only despise their own souls, but their families also; and making themselves unable for their duties, they are usually themselves despised by their inferiors: for God hath told such in his message to Eli, 1 Sam. ii. 30, "Them that honor me, I will honor; and they that despise me shall be lightly esteemed."
Direct. VI. The husband must be the principal teacher of the family. He must instruct them, and examine them, and rule them about matters of God, as well as his own service, and see that the Lord's day and worship be observed by all that are within his gates. And therefore he must labor for such understanding and ability as is necessary hereunto. And if he be unable or negligent, it is his sin and will be his shame. If the wife be wiser and abler, and it be cast upon her, it is his dishonor; but if neither of them do it, the sin, and shame, and suffering, will be common to them both.
Direct. VII. The husband is to be the mouth of the family, in their daily conjunct prayers unto God. Therefore he must be able to pray, and also have a praying heart. He must be as it were the priest of the household; and therefore should be the most holy, that he may be fit to stand between them and God, and to offer up their prayers to him. If this be cast on the wife, it will be his dishonor. (p. 439)
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And Matthew Henry: "Masters of families, who preside in the other affairs of the house, must go before their households in the things of God. They must be as prophets, priests, and kings in their own families; and as such they must keep up family-doctrine, family-worship, and family discipline: then is there a church in the house, and that is the family religion I am persuading you to." (
A Church in the House. A Sermon Concerning Family Religion., p. 251) (Ptacek, p. 52).
He goes on to cite J.W. Alexander's classic
Thoughts on Family Worship: "The maintenance of domestic religion in every house is primarily entrusted to the head of the family" (Alexander, p. 43; Ptacek, p. 59). Ptacek: "Alexander viewed the husband as the spiritual guardian of his wife and considered the reversal of that relationship to be "unnatural" (Alexander, p. 46). Family worship is a means for exercising this spiritual guardianship. No one else can exercise this role with his wife. Moreover, a head who does not act as a spiritual leader of his children cannot be replaced by his wife." (Ptacek, p. 59).
J.W. Alexander, p. 193:
Quote:
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The person, whose office it is to lead in Family-Worship, is undoubtedly the head of the household. The father is here in his proper place, as the prophet and patriarch of his little State. In the occasional absence of the father, Providence has devolved this, with all other parental trusts, on the solitary, or the widowed mother. And though it brings with it a keen trial to diffidence and feminine reserve, it is also eminently amiable and touching; and dutiful sons will make every effort to lessen the burdens of the maternal heart, when engaged in such a duty. The parent may sometimes see cause to depute this office to a son or brother, when the latter, from education, gifts, or graces, is qualified to take his part with edification. In a house so happy as to comprise several such persons, rotation in the service may be allowed; always reserving to the father, or head, his perogative and responsibility of direction.
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