I'm beginning to think you need some new friends. I would say you need to work on the poem a little more. I write the stuff too and I'm always tweaking them. I love to revise. The first verse had a good rhyme structure, perhaps you need to tighten the others up a bit. If poetry interests you, you should maybe look for a writing class in your area, where you can share your work with others and critique their work as well.

Get this guy out of your bed so you can go to work in the morning rested. You gotta have some boundaries or no one will respect you. This is bringing out my inner Dr. Laura - make this guy go home.

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The man who is disposed to think of his sin as a great calamity, rather than as a heinous crime, is not likely either to reverence God or to respect His law. - John Kennedy, 1873
Meg
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Member, Intown Presbyterian Church,PCA, Portland, OR

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