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This is a great question.
I think that at first glance, we must take people at their word. I often find myself making a stern first impression, but I try to reasonable and to realize that I am not capable of accurately judging the spirit of a man at first glance. Sometimes it is not difficult to judge the fruit of an individual over a period of time. Sometimes we may not find for years that we have placed our trust in a charlatan. Through it all we remain friendly, loving, and willing to forgive at all times. I think perhaps the key to establishing relationships is to look not so much on our own needs and wishes, but rather to focus our attention on what we can do for others.
As far as expectations go, we know that when our friends forsake us, the Lord will lift us up. There comes a time when we learn that only God is true - and that men are liars. I think when fully learn to acknowledge Him in all of our ways and to trust wholly upon Him, He will grant us the grace that we need when we feel abandoned or betrayed.
While it is always frustrating to be taken advantage of or to extend a measure of trust that is abused, we must recognize that we are all sinners saved by the grace of God.
Of course, we are always willing to recognize when someone has abused our trust, yet we seem to be a little slower to recognize when we ourselves abuse the trust of another. Are we not all prone to be swift to speak and slow to hear? Do we not all enjoy hearing or telling a story about another? Sometimes we spend so much time wondering whether or not we should trust another that we spend to little times contemplating whether or not we ourselves are trustworthy. After awhile we should grow weary of tripping over our 2x4 while picking up another's toothpick.
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